I think at times it is really hard to realize that my world is different. I don’t know how it became that way really. I mean we wanted kids and all of our friends were having kids. We became different then as we didn’t. I guess that was the beginning. Then when we fostered to adopt that was different and the behaviors we dealt with were different. We were told to “give them back” so many times. Kind of like sneakers that didn’t fit right. Wow that really cut us off as well I don’t believe in throwing a kid away. It started out slow but all of a sudden we weren’t invited to events…then we weren’t even invited to family events. It started to show and it hurt but I tried to look at it as well not everyone can handle our brood but really no one tried.
Our kids are a little different as they are all dealing with FASD (Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder) but really ours are different in that I can take all of them to the grocery store and they don’t misbehave. I can go out to restaurants and watch in horror as other kids dip their faces into the chocolate fountain knowing mine would never do that. I am so proud of my kids. They do have struggles but they are wonderful. We get complimented every time we go out and I want to say isn’t it amazing that my kids who are considered by many to be “damaged” do so much better than those others who are probably deemed normal. But I carry that in my heart…I know that my kids are amazing and I don’t need anyone else to acknowledge it. Saying that it still gets lonely. I have very few friends left. Oh sure on Facebook where I can connect with others who march with the same band I have friends but so many have fallen away.
Today I read another article about Whiteclay. How if we put an officer there and a detox center it will be okay to ignore the scourge of Nebraska. I am so angry. I know for many you don’t see why I feel so angry about the ignoring of Whiteclay, NE. I have held a baby and told her it was okay to quit fighting…I have watched so many struggle through things that should be easy and fun for them. All because we ignore Whiteclay. We tell our children that because they are Lakota that they are less than their white brethren. We do this as the illegalities of Whiteclay are going on so that “they don’t come to our town”. This is straight from the minutes of Governor Rickett’s great task force on whiteclay. You see these men and women don’t want the Lakota’s struggling with sobriety to take this struggle into their towns so they put Whiteclay there to keep this out of sight and out of mind. Where is the help? Where is the indignant cries? I hear them…daily. From the babies who are struggling to withdraw. From the children who are in pain and suffering from the choices of others. I hear it, why don’t you?