Supports needed…enabling?

Okay today was another day to be at the school listening to a bunch of teachers tell me how my child needs to do the same work as everyone else.  How no matter how many learning issues and mental health issues he has he is still responsible for the work.  We have to stop “enabling” our kids with FASD.  The goal is always to get the supports taken away from the child.  I sit and listen to their “educated” opinions and it is all I can do not to just start screaming.

By building supports for the child/adult with FASD we can help them to attain many things.  IF it is working then why would you take it away.  To me this is the absolute definition of insanity and at times I do have to wonder who exactly is the one who is brain damaged.  For some reason there is this whole school of thought that everyone has to learn, behave and be the same.  Well to be honest even without FASD we are not all the same.  No one who is the parent of more than one child would tell you that their children act, behave and react the same.  I know my parents would laugh as with me all they had to say was they were disappointed in me when I broke the rules but with my sister it seemed nothing worked short of severe repercussions.  We in no way learned the same or reacted the same.  This was without us having the issues of prenatal alcohol exposure.  We still needed to be parented differently.  Well my children also have to be parented a bit differently due to their different personalities.  They do also need supports, each of them different but all needing supports just the same.  One of the bravest moms I have met yet always talks about how she is her daughters external brain.  Her daughter is amazing and has excelled.  She has been able to have a family with these supports.  So enabling or not these supports can help our children to be successful.  I don’t care what a school system or a teacher or anyone else says I will continue to support my children.  I will do whatever it takes to help them succeed…even enable!


About fasmom

The adoptive mom to 12 wonderful children who are affected by Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder and other issues including Reactive Attachment Disorder, bipolar, schizophrenia, CP, epilepsy and oh the list goes on...The thing is these children have taught me things about myself I never knew and would not have missed out on learning. Married to an amazing man and enjoying life on a sheep ranch.
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2 Responses to Supports needed…enabling?

  1. Kelli Kaetterhenry says:

    One of my favorite quotes when it comes to education and kids/teens with special needs: “Fair isn’t everyone getting the same thing, it’s everyone getting what they need.”

  2. fasmom says:

    I love that quote very much Kelli. I wish that more schools would look at this. Frustration is getting services for kids anymore. I know in our support system this is one of the biggest frustrations for families.

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