The after Christmas Blahhhhs


I don’t know about the rest of you but after Christmas I get the blahhhs.  See it is so hard to get through some of the behaviors of our children and trying to make sure everything goes okay and then well it did.  So now what?  Well, hmmm.  I guess I should be happy that this year everyone handled the stress of the change in their routines and went to Grandma’s and behaved with no melt downs.  Well I am happy at that.  It was awesome.  So what changed this year?  Well I did not go crazy decorating.  We put the tree up one week before Christmas and took it down the day after.  No blinking lights on the tree…just simple stuff.  I kept their  bedtimes the same as during school.  Kept chores and expectations the same.  Tried to structure the days as much as possible with as few changes as I could.  You know it worked.  We talked about how hard it can be and what they were afraid might happen or not happen.

I stayed CALM.  I let myself acknowledge I was afraid of this Christmas being as crazy as the last ones have been at times.  Now I feel so calm I don’t know what to do with myself.  I won’t complain and I will try to enjoy this feeling.  I know now that we can have changes and they do not have to be negative.  We are all learning.  Learning what the other ones need and what we need.  I remember hearing one mom say that the one thing we forget is to ask the FASDer what they need.  You know honestly why do we forget this.   Who would know better what would help?  So this year I remembered that and that is honestly what has made it a success.  One child opened one present and then left.  He could not handle any more and it was okay.  No one minded that he needed to go into a quiet room by himself for the rest of the morning.

Remember the Diane Malbin saying Try differently, Rather than Harder.  She is so right.  Trying the same way just because it is the way we want it done is really crazy.  Try a new route and see where it takes you.

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About fasmom

The adoptive mom to 12 wonderful children who are affected by Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder and other issues including Reactive Attachment Disorder, bipolar, schizophrenia, CP, epilepsy and oh the list goes on...The thing is these children have taught me things about myself I never knew and would not have missed out on learning. Married to an amazing man and enjoying life on a sheep ranch.
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One Response to The after Christmas Blahhhhs

  1. Wendy Ranger says:

    Very good article. I too do things differently at Christmas now.

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